Consistency, Codependency and Living Without a Plan

gut-feelingIt’s hard enough keeping up with the things you absolutely have to do to survive or to keep your life somewhat together. Where it gets ridiculous is when you factor in the responsibilities of adulthood (or something along those lines) and the sensitivity of time. Is balance a myth? How do you keep your life together and moving forward without having a panic attack every day?

Consistency

The hardest thing for me is making sure my moods don’t influence my productivity on a day to day basis. It’s something I fail at daily in some aspect but the beautiful thing is, everyday I seem to let less and less things be affected by my mood. It’s strange how the need to get more in touch with your emotions and learn how to trust your intuition and follow your gut can also lead you into a space where “mood” (which is similar, but not necessarily the same thing as “feelings” or “intuition”) can start to affect you negatively. The key is to learn to spot the difference between a gut feeling that you shouldn’t be doing something that day and your inner fears keeping you from trying and possibly achieving something great.

Codependency

The next double-edged sword is needing the perfect conditions for you to get something started or done. We wait for the perfect weather, the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect amount of money in the bank and what we end up with is a lot of waiting and a lot less doing. Yes, things seem to run smoothly when everything you need is aligned but if you get used to driving only when the ride is smooth you probably won’t get very far. Also, recognition and “support” are other forms of waiting. Waiting for other people to validate our efforts before we decide to start or to move on to the next step is the easiest way to stay stuck in the same place for a long long time and when you’re stuck, you spend your time resenting those who are out there making it work, bumpy roads and all.

Living Without A Plan

For some of you who’ve been non-planners since the dawn of time and have had your lives changed by making a plan to achieve your goals then this paragraph isn’t for you. For the rest of us who’ve been compulsive planners our whole lives, I want you to stop and think about whether or not you use “planning” to avoid actually getting things done. (I known right? That’s exactly how I felt the first time I realized that’s what I was doing). If you take great pleasure in sitting down and drafting up the perfect plan for achieving whatever it is you want to achieve, if you feel really great and accomplished after you’ve sorted out all the details and have thought of all the possible obstacles and how you will overcome them, so accomplished in fact that you don’t actually take action after planning then stop planning. Yes. Stop. I know all of the self-help books say otherwise but trust me on this one. 

It’s great to have an end goal, a general direction in which you want to go but if you focus on the plan more than you do on the daily activities you need to do to get there then you need to stop planning. I put myself on a planning ban this year and although I have a general sense of how I’d like this year to turn out I’m focusing on doing the things I find joy in consistently and to the best of my abilities and saying yes to whatever opportunities come my way as long as they are in line with the things that bring me joy. No planning, no perfect sequencing of events, just doing. We’ll see how it all works out and I’ll definitely update you later in the year. Think of it this way, if you’ve been planning for years and nothing gets done, it won’t hurt to try a new approach right?

A Quick PSA

I’m in the process of moving countries and continents and time-zones and it should go on for the next 3 weeks. In case the posting gets scattered and the posting times change please bear with me. Exciting new things are on the way. For those of you who followed me on my other blog, thank you for checking up on me and please know that I’m alive and well. Everything should fall into place soon.

Have a wonderful week and please leave me questions, comments and suggestions below!

Love,

Sunshine.

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