The Ups & Downs of Effective Change

DSC_0428I’ve been experiencing a slight case of writers block. Slight being an understatement. Actually, it’s not so much writer’s block as it is dissatisfaction with the things I’ve tried to write about recently and maybe that’s the issue: I might be trying too hard.

Maybe what’s really going on is that I’ve reached my personal limit, the point at which I start to self-sabotage.

I’ve been trying to plan the next 2 months of posts for about 2 weeks now and this desire to over plan is probably interfering with the actual writing process. As a result I  was about to sink into old patterns of just letting the blogs fall to the sidelines and dive into a pool of self loathing, about to take my usual 2 steps back after the progress that’s been made this year.

In an attempt to make something productive out of these feelings I decided to just write about the block itself and fully embrace my impromptu motto for the year: Do the work. Sometimes it’s just a matter of choosing to accept that at times, I won’t feel like writing, I won’t have anything “post worthy” to publish, I’ll be stuck trying to deal with my emotions and tempted to “run away” from this space and yet choosing to act differently.

Change is a process. And as most accounts of change will attest to, it’s often not easy. It involves acting in opposition to our acquired instincts and it pretty much sucks until it replaces the old patterns.

The most important change any of us can ever make is a change in mindset. I’m starting to gain a bit of an aversion to that word just because it’s been thrown out there so much it’s loosing it’s meaning. “What is mindset?” you might ask. Well, I like to think of it as the way we view things. The beliefs we have, the things we tell ourselves.

If you ever stop and spend some time paying attention to how you talk to yourself you’d be surprised at the amount of unkind thoughts we tend to gravitate towards. Things like “don’t be stupid”, “stop whining”, “you can’t do that” and so on tend to appear more often than not and this is where change is absolutely needed.

The problem with effective change is realizing and accepting that relapses occur and they don’t necessarily mean that the battle was lost. This is something I tend to forget. There will always be days when we feel uninspired and down and maybe even like an impostor sometimes but this doesn’t mean we’ve failed to change.

The key is to remember to not let yourself wallow for long. It’s important to not let yourself dwell on those feelings for too long. How long is too long? Most people say two days in a row is admitting defeat. I say, it depends on the situation. Although I try not to wallow for 2 days in a row, sometimes I need a week and I allow myself that time.

I try to focus on addressing the feelings and not indulging in them. I ask myself “why do I feel this way?” as a good teacher would ask his student so that they can come to the conclusion by themselves. I answer that question and follow up with the next one until I reach a place where I understand that indulging in those negative feelings won’t get me any closer to the outcome I want. Sometimes this process takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes a few days. Each of us has to find out where that sweet spot is for each situation.

What’s the point of today’s topic? I’m not quite sure. But hopefully it makes sense to some of you and maybe helps you realize that change is a continuous process and relapses will happen, what we do have control over is how long we let the relapse last and that every single time, we have the option to act differently.

Have you ever experienced creative blocks? How did you deal with them and what lessons have you learned? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please leave them all below!

Love,

Sunshine.

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4 Comments

  1. I have been struggling with motivation blocks… I love being financially stable…and when I am at in a low flow.. I tend to beat myself for it and look myself at the mirror like a looser…I am a very loving and caring person but I am very materialistic as well.. I guess it’s something born with me.. my eye was always attracted to expensive things.. I love eating well…drinking…even after accepting Jesus into my life…

    I guess the blocks comes when we are “trying too hard”.. like you said…trying to hard to accomplish and not being grateful and satisfied with our current mode.. or status.. then again…a life with no challenges at all all..in whatever field of human life means death.. literally!! One will ask to self.. what am I doing here.. should I even be here…. so whatever difficulty we go throught..it is meaningful.. it’s just where we supposed\ to be. right there…. cry.. smile.. scream.. break it… it feels wrong?! great .. okay…they judge you.. better!!… Ralo said.. ” If niggas ain’t hating you must be doing somethin’ wrong”….hahahahah….kidding.. but yea… like Madre Teresa said.. “From beginning to end.. It’s always between You and GOD”

    Reply

    1. Very true. I know what you mean about liking the finer things in life and not being financially stable is awful. Gonna write about this soon. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow and stop “trying”. That’s usually when things just happen! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

  2. Sometimes I wish we could meet and chat in a cafe, gurl, you are too hard on yourself. I can tell lots of things inspire you and you have had lots of experiences worth sharing so share them! I don’t tend to have writers block, I deliberately chose to do one post a week for now till some certain cards fall. I want to see a New VGC post pronto too! ( :

    Reply

    1. I know right? I’m working on that. Trying not to overthink as much and not be too hard on myself. I’ll get there. I completely get the 1 post a week thing but sometimes I feel like it’s not enough =/ Ughhhh one day I’ll get over it and VGC is going through a wardrobe restructuring situation (myabe it’s a spring thing) but I’ll try to get something out this week. Thanks for always keeping me on track!! Lol.

      Reply

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