Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed

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We’ve all heard this saying at least once in our lives but it wasn’t until very recently (as in a few days ago) that the saying finally sinked in. I was having a conversation with a friend about being vocal about the things we want and how different people have different ways of “going for it”.

Two Ways of Going For It

I’m of the school of being visibly, actively, undoubtedly aggressive about what you want (read: visible commitment not physical violence). Those are the methods that make sense to me and my personality.

If you want something you can’t expect for people to guess that you do. The people who get leadership positions aren’t always the most qualified for the job but they’re the ones that voiced that they wanted the responsibility and more often than not, they end up being the ones that do get the positions and develop into leaders.

At a time when so many people are qualified for so many things, the ones that get said things are often the ones able to voice it loud enough and with enough confidence and certainty, leaving no possibility of doubt in anyone else’s mind that they want it. This has nothing to do with how qualified or unqualified you feel, this has nothing to do with the type of people you think the company or the person you’re trying to date of whatever the case may be, needs. This has to do with weather you’ve clearly voiced the desire to have whatever you say you want and how fast you voice it. Feelings are not facts and again, in a world with so many qualified people, closed mouths don’t get fed and the fastest one to the pot get’s served first (and usually has the best picks).

Now, not everybody is like this. Not everybody is comfortable being this bold and forward about the things they want. Some people like to be more quiet and work behind the scenes. Some people prefer to measure the waters first before they stick their foot in and I say do whatever works best for you and whatever you feel more comfortable doing but I do have to caution both the aggressive types and the passive types that if the style you’re using isn’t working for you, don’t complain about the other people who are “taking what you want” from you but rather analyse your method and compare it to the methods of those who did get what you wanted and adjust yourself accordingly. There is a time and place for everything. Just like not every attire is appropriate for every occasion, not every approach will work with every occasion. Let’s look at these 2 scenarios as an example:

Scenario 1: You are at a dinner party and your prospective employer is there. The event is not geared at looking at prospective job candidates so walking up to your prospective employer and talking up your resume and why you’d be perfect for said company might not be the most effective approach. It’s too forward. Talking up said person, showing interest on what they’re interested in, light conversation, preferably not intensely focused on your desire to work for the company and getting the employers contact details to continue the conversation afterwards (where you can then pitch yourself) might be a better approach.

Scenario 2: You are at a job fair. Tons of prospective employers, tons of prospective companies for you to work at. Tons of other candidates trying to woo said employers and companies. Talking about the weather and downplaying/not mentioning your skills and just collecting a few business cards will not likely get you hired. Being straight forward and assertive, talking about what you’re good at and asking questions will probably give you a better chance of getting hired.

A Case For Preference

Do be mindful that although I believe this is a general rule (especially when it comes to jobs), people have their preferences and the same approach might have different effects on different people. When talking to a boy/girl/potential partner you find interesting some people prefer a more direct approach, just go up to them and start talking to them, while others may prefer to be introduced by a mutual friend first and don’t appreciate talking to complete strangers. It all depends on how you do it and what the other person prefers but from my experience you get more eggs by asking for them then by waiting for people to figure out that you’re hungry.

What do you think about this? Are you an aggressive go-getter or a smooth operator? Have you been in situations when you had to use the method you’re not so comfortable with to get what you wanted? ¬†Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Leave them in the comments bellow!

Love,

Sunshine.

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